Singles Articles

Kentonn · **Kentonn** Joined: 07 Aug 2008 Posts: 9

I just spent a year falling in love (mutually) with a woman overseas (not from this website) and because I loved her if she needed money I would send it. In the end she asked for money to come to Canada so that we could get married. After helping her with this she stopped talking via YM and e-mail - and even turned off her cell phone. You thoughts on this matter please... It has been over a week since we last chatted (since Feb 19/09) and to be blunt I feel like a fool. Very Happy

**CristalDreams**

I just responded to your other post on this..

But wow :/ bummer for you Sad

I want to point out a keyword in your post that's been being discussed in another thread.. you mentioned "falling in love"..I want to emphasize on that..you fell for her, and you fell hard..I want to borrow a phrase from Janica, she said, when you fall, the floor is your limit, but if you grow, the sky is the limit(not exact words but you get the idea)..anyway..You hit the floor on this one Sad

& it's because sometimes we confuse this thing "love" and become "stupid"..no offense to you Smile

Am just explaining my thoughts.
I know very well what it's like to "fall hard" for someone, and you do honestly become royally dumb.. lol, you'd do anything..and if that meant money you'd do it. I know I've been that way..but you have to be extremely careful, especially when it comes to someoen you've never met in your life, no matter how long you've spoken to them on the internet. The internet is very good at allowing people to feel free on hiding, and creating many faces..and of course leaving in an instant as if they never existed(or..changing their screen names..and such, so as you would never know).
I'm personally very skeptical of overseas relationships..I know some happen and few of them happen wonderfully..but for some reason I just find it a lot harder to trust.
Money is one thing that needs to be watched..I mentioned in my previous post on your other thread about "gold-diggers", and of course I don't know her or the entire situation, but it seems like you gave her a ton of money..and
the other part I wanted to touch on..marriage??! Shocked

That should had been a major red flag for you..
marriage is one thing to not take so lightly..especially when you've never physically met..or know if you 2 could even stand being around each other that much in person..there's SO many things to think on, it is quite different once you meet them in person..it could go either way...really bad, or really good. So to give her money to come to Canada...not just to meet.. but to marry...holy bologna sir Shocked

Doesn't matter if you talked with her for a year..you still don't know each other enough for marriage..least a lasting one.
I think you really need to search your heart, and God..and let this moneysnatcher girl go...find someone closer to yourself..or least..someone who doesnt bring money into the relationship :/

TXBlondie · **TXBlondie** Joined: 13 Oct 2008 Posts: 40

I am sorry Kentonn. Some people will use anyone and do nearly anything for money. I am glad that you found out before you got in any deeper.

I thought CristalDreams did a good job of summing up the problems. Please just let it go and learn from it. Don't beat yourself up.

I know that it was not easy to open up to this issue but there are some fantastic people here who can help you get past it and know how to handle things better in the future.

Hey, I liked your idea on your profile about going back to school for nursing. One of the professions in great demand probably for years to come.

jafo1977 · **jafo1977** Joined: 11 Jun 2008 Posts: 139

I am sorry man,

It sounds like you have been conned. I have had women (if they were women and not men pretending to be women) on the internet try to scam me. I never fell for it but at the same time its discouraging that they would try to take advantage of me or anyone else. But don't beat yourself up and try to learn from this. When it comes to money alot of people will lie and offer things that they never intend on delivering. I would also meet the woman (in my case) before I decided on having a serious relationship and as cautious as I am myself meet in person spend time with them and get to know them over a long time. Just be careful, there are too many people who prey on others on the internet, listen to the Holy Spirit, your instincts and don't let the desire and dream of falling in love and the thought "maybe this is the one" rule out reason and healthy skepticism. It sounds like your heart was pure and you wanted to help out, giving is great but know who or what you are giving to.

I will pray for you on this.

Livin4Him · **Livin4Him** Joined: 05 Jul 2006 Posts: 7

**dramatique**

Dear Kentonn,
I'm sorry to hear what happened to you. I don't know where your girl was from, but coming from Asia I know there are a lot of people, specially from third world countries, who are desperate for a better life economically and they will do anything to improve their living conditions, including go online. The fact is, yes it's true in most aspects that life is a whole lot better in western countries, and so lots of scammers from developing countries really know how to take advantage of westerners looking for soulmates from the east. Of course, there are westerners taking advantage of orientals for different reasons. This is why I always guard my heart whenever I go online, because you never know what kind of people you meet online. I think everyone should, too.

geophoto · **geophoto** Joined: 01 May 2008 Posts: 286

Sorry you got took Kentonn, but consider it a lesson learned. You are not alone, it happens to a lot of guys online.

Good advice Dramatique, about guarding the heart online. Smile

That is what I do. I’ve had people hit me up for plane tickets, visa payments and all kinds of things like that. Never paid them anything. A good rule of thumb is to turn down money requests and see if they still hang around. Most will be gone quickly. The good people I've met online have a career at something.

rbarbour1051 · **rbarbour1051** Joined: 01 Mar 2010 Posts: 23

We can be wise @ serpents / innocent as doves.
We're never alone with Christ.
Ill pray 4 u Kentonn
Rick

robmontana49 · **robmontana49** Joined: 02 Apr 2009 Posts: 191

I know what you’re talking about. A few years ago I was just bored one day and I decided to answer a e-mail I received on a site like this one. Anyway, to make a long story short I was e-mailing a women from Russia, and then we began to e-mail each other back and forth. At first she was not asking for money. But what raised my suspension was she never would respond to question I asked her, she would just keep on about how much she wanted to come to the USA. Then in about 20 e-mails she started to ask for money so we could meet. I told her perhaps later on I could send her a airplane ticket, however, she told me that it would be better if I could send her cash, she told me Russia being the way that it is it would be better to send money. Anyway, when I told her in a e-mail that I would send a ticket she stopped e-mailing me. You just have to be so careful when dealing with someone on a date website.
_________________
May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. 2 cor 13:14

“Passionate follower of Christ”

Robert

songbyglory · **songbyglory** Joined: 10 Nov 2009 Posts: 230

Yeah, we want to love so much that we put our trust out there. Unforunately there are so many people waiting to take advantage of that. Love Christ first and the one will come in the proper time. And everything you do filter it through the word and Christ, and you will always be able to see the truth. Also be careful because now you have posted this in the forum, although there are a lot of God fearing people here, there are also many scammers and you have just put a target on your profile. I speak the Spirit of discernment into your life and that you never be misled again. In Jesus' mighty name.
God bless,
Cheryl

kiss_of_life61 · **kiss_of_life61** Joined: 06 Feb 2010 Posts: 33

I'm really sorry that happened to you. I will be praying for you...
_________________
With AGAPE, the love of Christ.

**Ladysharon1**

Add my "I'm sorry" to the list, Kentonn. For what it's worth, you aren't the first to go through this and you probably won't be the last. The scammers are everywhere, and I believe the love to get on the "Christian" sites because they feel that we have softer hearts and are more easily deceived. I've learned that the minute someone asks for money, it's more than likely a scammer, no matter how long you've talked to them or how much you seem to have in common. They are very good at deception and knowing exactly what to say that most single people would like to hear.

Take heart though, it's only money (hard to say and hear, I know). You're heart will heal. Like so many have said, pray to our Lord for the comfort and He'll gladly give it.


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