Singles Articles

christian_chick_ak · **christian_chick_ak** Joined: 15 Nov 2008 Posts: 145

If you know that you can't get yourself into a relationship, why even try and get to know someone for? Trying to figure out the guy that has been fading from my life....his choice. He finally told me that he liked me, but then he said he can't get into a relationship because he has issues....and he explained them. But this was right after he and I got a little too physical (we didn't sleep together or anything major, but second base is too much in MY book).

So, what's the deal? If a girl gives a little when the guy pushes...is she pushed off as being loose while he himself gets off the hook because he's a guy? I don't really understand how it all works. I take responsibility for my part of the situation.

I mean, would a guy go to all that work making up issues to me and explaining to me for about an hour afterwards why it won't work right now for him....?
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Trust in the Lord...Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart... Commit your way to the Lord...Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him. (Psalm 37)

Tim1982 · **Tim1982** Joined: 18 Aug 2009 Posts: 54

A guy does alot of things for alot of reasons. Without knowing this person I couldnt say.

I will say you deserve someone who likes you and will come after you. Someone who despite circumstances will come for you and try and be with you, making it work. A real man will figure out.

Forget this guy, nevermind the physical stuff, never mind what he told you. Try and get over him, the best you can, and then wait for a man that will prove he is worth your time.

BlessedPsalm46 · **BlessedPsalm46** Joined: 08 Jan 2008 Posts: 961

You didn't sleep with him - GOOD! Try to figure out what about this guy did push along the physical a bit though, ask for forgiveness and guidance, and move on. Don't waste your time on someone who isn't ready to give it their all. Also, if he's a true man of God, he wouldn't have sacrificed your feelings or reputation for whatever his issues may be. In my experience, worldly guys will do WHATEVER. Sounds like a lot of work, but they WILL do it. My advice is to put it to yourself that no matter how cute, sweet, caring, or loving they may be, if they're not a man of God, they're not going to lead your home the way our Lord intended. Therefore, run away... FAR away! Good luck. Smile

christian_chick_ak · **christian_chick_ak** Joined: 15 Nov 2008 Posts: 145

Yeah, it's just hard when he still comes to my bible study. And we have to pretend that nothing ever happened but knowing full well what happened. Perhaps he could just brush it off. I wish I had an explanation but it doesn't seem that I will get any of that from him.

But it irritates me that he said he liked me and I told him that I liked him and then that's the end of that. So childish. Blah...

I can't understand how a Christian man can do this, but then again, I've met some shady Christian men. I am not bitter about it and have gone on with life more normal once again. Yet I can't help but still think about him....I mean I see him once a week at group. I refuse to leave this Bible study as I have been attending this group for several years and he only now has just started coming. My friends who run the study say that if it is too hard they will ask him to leave, but I can't do that. I can't take him away from Bible study where he can fellowship and learn more about God. Only God knows his heart. Just something I have to keep giving to God.

So irritating though.
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Trust in the Lord...Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart... Commit your way to the Lord...Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him. (Psalm 37)

Tes · **Tes** Joined: 27 Aug 2009 Posts: 37

maybe his lustful desires were satisfied. note though, it happens to both men and women. Women just apply a different sort of pressure I think. I have a friend that was led on. we laugh about it though. when we spoke about it, it looked like he applied the pressure, but when we looked at it further we realised he had been led on.

GamingChristian · **GamingChristian** Joined: 14 Sep 2007 Posts: 162

From my experience, it's best to avoid the opposite sex who give mix signals, or their words don't fit with their actions.

People do and say weird things, and only God knows what's going on in their minds.

Learn from one's mistakes and avoid people like that. It'll save time, confusion, or head/heartache.
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The Lord's word is like a double-edged sword.

**warrior7**

Just finished reading a very good book by Elisabeth Eliot entitled Quest for Love. I was tremendously awed by the wonderful stories of great men and women who have tied the knots under the authorship and the direction of God. HE sure does author unique, beautiful and awe-inspiring love stories! Very Happy

I recommend it for reading to everyone who is here for the very same quest!

I've also read there different stances of men, especially that of 'christian men'. It will be a long discussion and i would deviate much from this topic if i start on it... so i just wanna put it bluntly that, HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU... he may have just been using you for some of his unmet needs... may it be emotionally or physically. But as Christians, we are called to look at this situation in Jesus' eyes so we don't have the right to condemn the guy as he is also struggling with his walk in Christ and he may have been honest telling you that he has some issues that he needs to work on. But i think for us dear sister, as beloved princesses of the Almighty King, we have to put in mind that the kind of guy our Dad would want to have us are guys of his own heart, that means... men who have really lived their being Christians by following the ways of our Lord - living in obedience to His word. And that includes respecting women, and restraining himself from using any from his opposite sex to feed his needs.

A guy who truly loves you would die (to himself) just to have you, as Christ died for his beloved bride - the church. If he's not pursuing you, then let it go. Don't force yourself on something that would only hurt you in the long run (and is already hurting you now). The guy just simply doesn't have enough fire in his heart to pursue you in real concept of love and loving - self-sacrifice. So it's just wouldn't work.

Lift up your broken heart to Big Daddy... and hold on to the valuable lesson you learned from this experience to never squander your emotions for unions not willed by God (I learned this the hard way). As the psalmist say, 'Wait on the Lord'. He has the perfect person in store just for you in His perfect time. Focus on Him alone and He will give you the desires of your heart.. again, on his terms not yours.

I like to include one of my favorite quotes of Pope John Paul II from his book Love and Responsibility:

'Only the chaste man and the chaste woman are capable of true love. For chastity frees their association, including their marital intercourse, from that tendency to use a person.'

And this beautiful text message I received:

'No man can ever claim you, unless he claims you from me. I reserved a man for you who has my heart and loves me even more than he loves you. I won't give you unless he asks you from me. Soon you will know him. I have a perfect time. You're my princess my daughter. Let no prince claim you unless he asks you from my hand. For I am your Father, the Kings of Kings. You princess is worth loving.' - A message from God.


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