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AngelsWay · **AngelsWay** Joined: 05 Jan 2010 Posts: 103

I would love to hear your opinions on this situation:

There is a man in our church who is married. He comes to church alone without his wife, but sometimes with his children. He teaches children's Sunday school and is involved in other ministries as well. He attends a mid-week Bible study, too. He serves the Lord with all His heart. Recently I had a conversation with him at coffee hour on Sunday. I was surprised to learn that his wife attends a DIFFERENT church ( I had previously thought that maybe she wasn't a Christian.) The church he attends is an Anglican liturgical catholic-type church. He was once Roman Catholic and has been divorced, so he chose to become a member of a Protestant form of catholicism, Anglicanism, which is familiar and somewhat similar to his Roman Catholic roots.

His second and current wife is also a Christian who serves the Lord, but she attends a non-denominational contemporary church where she dresses "down" for church in jeans and shorts and worships along with a Praise band. He dresses "up' for church and worships along with a choir, traditional hymns, and organ music. As far as I can tell, she does not attend church with him, and I'm not sure if he ever attends with her, but he is at his church almost every Sunday.

I would like your opinion of this type of worship arrangement. Do you think this is okay? healthy? godly? scriptural? Would you be willing to date, be in a serious relationship with, or married to someone who attended a different church and denomination than you? Is there ever a situation where you would think this kind of worship arrangement would be okay for someone else? How about for yourself?

I am interested to see what you all think! Thanks!
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On the Way of Christ Jesus - AngelsWay

I want to tread where angels have tread and walk as close to our Heavenly Father and our Lord Jesus Christ as I possibly can! Remaining on the Narrow Path and relying on the Holy Spirit is how that walk is happening in my life! Luke 1:37

mayflower · **mayflower** Joined: 12 Sep 2009 Posts: 446

You know, I've learned that folks will do life the way they want whether or not it is the norm or the way it SHOULD be. I know of other families who are split in different churches.

I went to a Wednesday prayer meeting and children's program (for our children) at a different church from where my husband (now ex) was pastoring a church because we didn't have any children's programs at our church. It had nothing to do with my husband.

It may be a perfect plan for them to go to separate churches. Many Catholics are very uncomfortable with the contemporary church just because they are used to high-church structure. It may be the way they keep peace within the family.

Yes, I would have a hard time with it, IF beliefs and commitments were estranged between the two of us (if I were married). And in my opinion, no it's not the ideal situation for families, but again, there are all sorts of scenarios in going to two different churches within one family.

When you see that gentleman again, pray for that family, that they would remain united.

Mayflower
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God looks at the heart...how 'bout you?

grateful · **grateful** Joined: 04 Jun 2005 Posts: 675

Well, AW, I think it would take two believers who were both solid/mature in the faith and knew a lot about different faiths and denominations.

I think I could do it...but wouldn't think it the best possible way to go...wouldn't like it sometimes. But then I don't especially like to mow the lawn, either... but I sure like it looking nice Laughing

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Signed: Grateful
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christian_chick_ak · **christian_chick_ak** Joined: 15 Nov 2008 Posts: 145

I don't agree with it....but I don't know the situation and so if that works....
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Trust in the Lord...Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart... Commit your way to the Lord...Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him. (Psalm 37)

Brandalf85 · **Brandalf85** Joined: 27 Dec 2008 Posts: 250

As someone who desires to put God in the center and head of a relationship, not going to church together seems like a bad move. A friend of mine said he spent the first time at church together with his girlfriend and it was the most amazing worship experience he had because it was with her and it added something to it.

That joint experience is something important. I can't see myself doing that. A compromise, however, could be worked out.

Perhaps One week we go to their church and the next week they go to mine? Or we could somehow go to both services together, just two in one morning. I honestly hope this will not be an issue with me.
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"Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained." - C.S. Lewis

**Esther735**

Hi,
I think that it's a good thing that they both go to church at least somewhere. I think it is a matter of the heart between them and the Lord, and don't think it would be right for me to judge that situation.

Having said that, there is no way in the world that arrangement would work for me - not for a second. I think the intimacy and bond that is developed by worshipping together and then ministering together is too important. Body life is way too important of a part of my life for me to be able to live like that.

To me, that would be an unequally yoked situation. For them - it's between them and God.

grateful · **grateful** Joined: 04 Jun 2005 Posts: 675

songbyglory · **songbyglory** Joined: 10 Nov 2009 Posts: 230

I'm surprised no one has said this, but the church is not the building. The church is inside of us. Christ is not coming back for a building. There was a time when I questioned spouses attending different churches, but God speak to us all in different ways. I think it's awesome if they can go to two different places to worship and take home the same knowledge and intimacy. I'm nondenominational and ex-catholic and catholicism just wasn't for me. Yes, God spoke to me then, but it was nothing like now.
But the true question is, "Would I want to be married to someone that attends a different church?"
When I asked God to send me a husband, I did not ask for a certain color, nor that he speaks my language. What I ask Him for was a husband that was in alignment with His will for my life. I want someone that will stand with me in agreement and share the same faith. Can we do that in different churches? I don't know. Only God knows the answer to that question until he comes along and I find out.

Basically there is no right or wrong answer here. Just be careful that if you know someone in a relationship like this, please don't judge them. Only they, and the Lord, knows what works best for their marriage.

**hiscounsel2**

Amen, glory. There is an assistant pastor in my church, his wife attends a different church. She is Vietnamese and goes to a Vietnamese church. He goes with her on occasion, but mostly they go to their own churches, or denominations. They have been married many, many years, have grown children, and seem to be very happy.

While it is not anything I would want, it seems to work for them.

Ann72 · **Ann72** Joined: 31 Jan 2010 Posts: 3

...there is one answer: follow your heart.

But for peace in your family sometime you may go with your wife(husband).
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The LORD is my light and my salvation..

forgiven24 · **forgiven24** Joined: 31 Jan 2010 Posts: 8

My parents went to two different churchs before but stayed happily married until death took my dad from us.I agree with glory..She said it so well..

grateful · **grateful** Joined: 04 Jun 2005 Posts: 675


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