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shiku Joined: 06 Mar 2009 Posts: 71	Sat Feb 06, 2010 2:24 pm  Do not jeopardize Your future for a moment's Pleasure Life is hard no doubt and sometimes it doe seem more difficult for some people than others. Many times we are faced with situations that need our quick action to cut off others who we consider our competitors. We may be faced with a dilemma but chose not to share the dilemma because we assume by so doing we may waste time or we may be dissuaded against the thing when in our mind that is all we want. Perhaps it could be greed that takes captive of our thinking or just pure lust. The problem with such quick actions is that they lose sight of the future. How many people are homeless today because they acted impulsively because they were greedy for more? How many have destroyed their marriage because of momentary lust? How many have betrayed loved ones for something they craved for? At first we may feel satisfied and sometimes even powerful because we have got what we set out to get. The price however for such actions is sometimes too high and unfortunately cannot be reversed. A good example in scripture of a person who acted impulsively for a moment’s desire was Esau. Esau was Jacob’s older twin brother. By virtue of his position he had the eldest son birthright which entitled him to a double portion of the family’s inheritance together with the honor of one day becoming the head of the family. Esau was also his father’s favorite son while Jacob was his mother’s favorite. Esau was “a skillful hunter, a man of the field” while Jacob was “a mild man dwelling in tents”, Genesis 25:27. One day Esau came from working from the field and he was hungry. His brother Jacob in the meanwhile was making some tasty stew at home. Esau asked for some stew from Jacob and Jacob being the trickster saw a chance to get what he wanted. So Jacob asked his brother to sell him his birthright in exchange for the stew and Esau responded “look, I am about to die; so what is the birthright to me?” (Genesis 27:29-32). Off course Esau was not dying of starvation but he was hungry and was only exaggerating for effect. http://relijournal.com/religion/do-not-jeopardize-your-heritage-for-a-moments-pleasure/ For full article. _________________ The grace of God, the love of Christ and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you, Shiku
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mayflower Joined: 12 Sep 2009 Posts: 446	Sat Feb 06, 2010 7:10 pm  Huh, funny you posted this very issue today. I was at an animal science museum today and I saw a two-headed snake. We were talking with an animal handler while looking at the snake and she actually told of another two-headed snake that imploded in it's fate by.... One of the mouths to the snake had been given some food before the other head was given its food. The other head without the food was angry and hungry, so it swung it's head around to the other head eating the food and snatched the food away. Well, about a week later, the two-headed snake was given some food again, but this time the food was givin to the head that had stolen the food. The other head swung around and nailed him with his venomous fangs and killed that side of the snake and about a day or two later, the entire snake was dead. The snake had remembered that his food had been stolen and he was jealous, so he bit him(self) the next time they were fed. Moral of the story - don't ever hold a grudge and jealousy will bite you back with your own poison. True story! _________________ God looks at the heart...how 'bout you?
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treefairy Joined: 01 Feb 2010 Posts: 2	Sat Feb 06, 2010 11:22 pm  Wow that is a very creepy story! A one headed snake is bad enough to me :-s
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vixenkat_2001 Joined: 08 Jan 2010 Posts: 193	Sun Feb 07, 2010 7:29 am  alrighty then! lol....i hate snakes! terrified of snakes...deathly afraid of snakes. geee....wonder why!. i remember one time i was cleaning out my van, was in the driver's seat wiping it down, when my ex walked up to me and threw a snake at me just to be funny. i cleared the otherside of the van and was out the door faster than u could blink. I HATE SNAKES! that story was horrible! lol. but thanks for the moral of it. hugz. and i agree.... i held onto my anger and fear and well, almost hatred, for my ex for what he did to me and my kids (and still continues with trying to control me, but makes him madder than a hornet not having it anymore). God made me see it wasn't the Christian way to be. I have come to peace over it, but it rears its ugly head when he decided to once again hurt the kids. I have learned to tamp it down, after venting, but it i have learned it is ok not to like his actions, but i can't hold anger or resentment towards him. when it comes to his behavior i have to let God handle it and trust in Him, that He knows what is best and lay it all at His feet. there is a such thing as karma...well, as soon as i do anything remotely wrong...wow! does it turn around immediately and bite me in the butt! lol. ok, enough ramblings of a child God has reformed.
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grateful Joined: 04 Jun 2005 Posts: 675	Sun Feb 07, 2010 1:27 pm  vixenkat_2001 wrote: ...but it rears its ugly head when he decided to once again hurt the kids. I have learned to tamp it down, after venting, but it i have learned it is ok not to like his actions, but i can't hold anger or resentment towards him. ... Fact is, it is hard for any of us to walk that narrow line/balance when reasonably hating what some people do,... and then simultaneously protecting oneself and walking in forgiveness at the same time. Tough task for me, anyway. After sustaining hurts a person needs to be wary unless/until trust can be had again, but forgiving of the past at the same time. I say again: Tough task --It is inspirational to hear you making progress in that. _________________ ** Signed: Grateful **
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vixenkat_2001 Joined: 08 Jan 2010 Posts: 193	Mon Feb 08, 2010 8:08 am  grateful wrote: vixenkat_2001 wrote: ...but it rears its ugly head when he decided to once again hurt the kids. I have learned to tamp it down, after venting, but it i have learned it is ok not to like his actions, but i can't hold anger or resentment towards him. ... Fact is, it is hard for any of us to walk that narrow line/balance when reasonably hating what some people do,... and then simultaneously protecting oneself and walking in forgiveness at the same time. Tough task for me, anyway. After sustaining hurts a person needs to be wary unless/until trust can be had again, but forgiving of the past at the same time. I say again: Tough task --It is inspirational to hear you making progress in that. It hasn't been easy. I left him 4 years ago and haven't looked back. The kids and I are very happy with our decision. Since then my oldest and youngest have been seeing a counselor. It has taken extra work on my part to see they get the counseling, but my oldest has now finally graduated from those services. I still can't stand listening to his voice; it makes me cringe. If we are over in his area, I park up in the fork in the road so i am not so easily accessible to him where he can attack me and hurt me....had to learn that lesson the hard way. Have i always acted in a Christian manner? nope. I now have a police record lol...well, not sure it is still on there as it was pretty bogus, but here is what happened. every time the boys were to visit him on his weekends he would make some lame excuse why he couldn't see them. The boys were suffering as a result of the head games and it was reflecting in every thing they would do. I was finally at the end of my rope and dealing with other personal stuff (partly had to do with him not paying child support) and i lost it one day. I called him on the phone and left a message on his answering machine telling him what his mind games were doing to the boys. I called him a worthless piece of $#!@ for a father and hung up. My ex had me arrested and charges were pressed against me for harassment. The cops understood and the judge did too (my ex couldn't visit with his kids, but he made a point of showing up to my court hearing because he wanted me to see how it felt to be arrested since he was arrested numerous times for domestic violence against me and the kids). The judge threw it out and put me on 1 year probation. The ex was FURIOUS! Since then he calls me, curses me out, and even emails me with curses. The police have informed me it is "freedom of speech" and it is ok for him to do that! I turn the other cheek now and just leave it in the Lord' hands. No matter how angry I get, it doesn't help the situation, nor does it help the boys, nor is it very Christian-like. God is helping me with my feelings and my actions. It has taken me nearly 4 years to get to this point. I am still not perfect, but I am not going to stoop to his level. Oh...btw...he still calls himself a Christian and a servant of God's. In the end, he will meet our judge and God will decide his fate. That is not for me to do. I am at peace with that. I am just still waiting when he will be held accountable for his actions; hasn't happened yet, so maybe h*ll will be his fate...it is all left up to God. yep...it is a fine line of how i feel and where i place my feelings and how i should feel towards him. God is great.
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mayflower Joined: 12 Sep 2009 Posts: 446	Mon Feb 08, 2010 11:01 am  Wow! Sounds like you've been through h*ll and back! I didn't go through the physcial abuse, but the emotional abuse was enough to sink a ship. If I held on to every word he said to me, I would have taken eveyone down with me including my children. Coiuldn't have done that. God's Word came through for me in more ways than one. There's no bitterness there, just prayers right now that God would deal with him. I think on the snake illustration, one sees that if you fight with venom, then you will certainly hurt yourself in the long run, but rather, I learned to allow God to fight those difficult battles for me. I wrote a book as to how I survived my own divorce. It's a companion book for those who are going through separation and divorce. I need to revise it, but it's still out on the market if you'd like to get a copy. PM me and I'll give you the website to it. It's entitled Healing Within The Storm. You can ask for it an any bookstore as well. No, it's never easy to forgive someone who has caused your life to turn upside down, but the forgiveness part is to allow for you to heal and is for your benefit, but it doesn't let him off the hook. The Bible tells us over and over that one is to repent before they are forgiven by God. When we forgive them as Christ did for them on the cross, "Forgive them, for they know not what they do", they really have no earthly idea what they have done and how it has affected us as a family. In that sense, I can forgive him, yet he will ultimately have to contend with God and his sins. Glad I don't carry that around anymore. It's just too much to carry for me. _________________ God looks at the heart...how 'bout you?
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grateful Joined: 04 Jun 2005 Posts: 675	Mon Feb 08, 2010 12:12 pm  vixenkat_2001 wrote: The ex was FURIOUS! Since then he calls me, curses me out, and even emails me with curses. The police have informed me it is "freedom of speech" and it is ok for him to do that! I turn the other cheek now and just leave it in the Lord' hands. *** The police are perhaps not up to date. What he is doing is "Hate Speech" at the least, and it is definitely abuse, which can possibly be legally construed as "assault". Older laws differ around the country, but generally, assault is the threat, and battery is the actual physical act upon someone. Assault is often on the books only a misdemeanor, as is 'harassment' most of the time (unfortunately only a few judges take these real seriously), but either item can sometimes be prosecuted at a higher level. Talk to your DA or an assistant DA about these things, including "Hate Speech" for free (a woman if possible), and/or contact a women's shelter to get leads for "abuse"/"harassment" help which you as yet may not have come across. --To you and others I also advise: Keep a log of such calls as to their time, date, and content. Record them if possible. Your x obviously needs BIG help. Helping him 'hit bottom' (in an AA sense) is a possibility, but you already know that he can take it too far, so I know you'll continue to be careful. BTW, anyone can go to http://www.worldprayerteam.org/wpc/wpc?page=home.jsp for anonymous prayer help for self or others. Pray-ers are from all over the world. You do not have to sign-in to look at the prayers from all over, but to make a prayer request you must 'join'... but they are one of the few who absolutely will not abuse your email address...sooo....join in. _________________ ** Signed: Grateful **
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vixenkat_2001 Joined: 08 Jan 2010 Posts: 193	Mon Feb 08, 2010 4:42 pm  When he got his 6th dwi, the judge mandated him to seek AA. The judge presiding over his case was our family court judge and knew everything, so in order for him to be unbiased and handle only one case, he recused himself from our family court case (custody of the children and order of protection for me). This judge knew my ex wasn't paying child support and refused to work using the excuse he was attending college lol. The judge, knowing my ex was flunking college (hehehhe i informed the judge of that), and it was no excuse for not getting a job and paying child support (ex admitted in family court he wasn't paying because he didn't feel he needed to pay anything in money. if the boys wanted anything all i had to do was ask, but even then it would be questioned). So as part of probation, along with AA and mandatory random urine testing, he had to get a job to pay child support. The judge even asked him on every occasion in court if he was seeing his children. Always the reply was, "no your honor, i am not". and then blame me for his lack of visitation. Luckily the courts knew better. (after 3.5 year battle I finally got sole custody of the boys in september 2009). AA never helped at all. My ex is very smart when playing the system and would tell them what he knew they wanted to hear and then live a totally diff lifestyle. I am a better person as a result of what i went through, and found inner strength. God is working thru me and in my life to make me a better Christian and to learn to seek Him out and rely on Him. I am learning forgiveness for the extreme extent of the abuse. I would rather go thru physical abuse than mental and emotional abuse.
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