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ShayleeThea

Joined: 05 Feb 2010
Posts: 3

Sun Feb 07, 2010 1:56 pm  Reply with quote

Was madly in love but ended it over his lack of faith
Hey everyone! I'm very new to this site and was always skeptical about online dating. I mean, I'm 25 years old. I shouldn't have to resort to meeting someone online. I should meet a guy at church, or a grocery store or something. But, I've had bad luck finding a guy that's a practicing Christian. So, here I am.
Anyway, I quickly feel in love with a former high school friend when we were reunited a few months ago. He's wonderful, very thoughtful, considerate and always putting others before himself. He and I are so compatable and were both interested in a committed future. We dated for about a month and he declared himself to be agnostic. He does not believe in God. It pains me to know that he is so set in his ways and the teachings of his grandfather..that religion only divides a people. I never realized until now how strong of a faith I have and how important is to me that my partner believe in God. I think I deserve that.
He's completely devastated and thinks we could live with two seperate beliefs and still be compatable. That love should conquer all...
Do you think I made the right choice?
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Brandalf85

Joined: 27 Dec 2008
Posts: 250

Sun Feb 07, 2010 2:53 pm  Reply with quote

Re: Was madly in love but ended it over his lack of faith
ShayleeThea wrote:
Hey everyone! I'm very new to this site and was always skeptical about online dating. I mean, I'm 25 years old. I shouldn't have to resort to meeting someone online. I should meet a guy at church, or a grocery store or something. But, I've had bad luck finding a guy that's a practicing Christian. So, here I am.
Anyway, I quickly feel in love with a former high school friend when we were reunited a few months ago. He's wonderful, very thoughtful, considerate and always putting others before himself. He and I are so compatable and were both interested in a committed future. We dated for about a month and he declared himself to be agnostic. He does not believe in God. It pains me to know that he is so set in his ways and the teachings of his grandfather..that religion only divides a people. I never realized until now how strong of a faith I have and how important is to me that my partner believe in God. I think I deserve that.
He's completely devastated and thinks we could live with two seperate beliefs and still be compatable. That love should conquer all...
Do you think I made the right choice?


Welcome to the site.

You made the right choice. We are not to be unequally together with others, this can apply to many things, but the main thing is faith. Some people try missionary dating, the problem there is this: What if he/she decides to not accept Christ, but you're so much in love that you just won't let them go? A horrible place to be.

You also need to think of the future: if you married this person, would your children have a Godly home? Would they see God's love in your relationship? Would you be able to freely teach them about God without having ANOTHER opinion in the very house dividing them?

It wouldn't be healthy for you, or anyone else involved now or later, to be involved with an unsaved person. You did the right thing. Choosing God is ALWAYS the right thing. It's not always easy, but it's right. This guy may never understand it, but God will honor your choice and you'll just have to stand by it.

Again, welcome to the site. Smile
_________________
"Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained." - C.S. Lewis
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Arafax

Joined: 17 Aug 2007
Posts: 110

Sun Feb 07, 2010 3:08 pm  Reply with quote

I agree with what brandalf said. I think you made the right choice. Maybe right now you may be second guessing yourself...but in the long run you'll find that one guy who you are compatible with that also shares your beliefs. (:
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mayflower

Joined: 12 Sep 2009
Posts: 446

Sun Feb 07, 2010 3:49 pm  Reply with quote

Be very careful on this one, but your high standard of faith may make him realize that it's not about religion or church, but it's your relationship to Jesus Christ. Be that reflection of Christ in front of him if you see him again.

But you are very right about breaking it off with him. You must be equally yoked with your spouse. Of course, some of us out here have been married before, believing our spouse was the perfect Christian man only to realize that it just wasn't so. If he changes completely because he knows he is only saved by grace, then there may be something there. Pray for him, even though you have stopped seeing him. Pray for his Salvation.

Oh, and btw, welcome to the web-site. You may find alot of great insights on here while you are healing from your past.

Mayflower
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God looks at the heart...how 'bout you?
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ShayleeThea

Joined: 05 Feb 2010
Posts: 3

Sun Feb 07, 2010 4:25 pm  Reply with quote

Wow, thank you all. I know that God put it in my heart to join this site for healing. Its great to have support from complete strangers...strangers that I have something so much in common with. Your responses have helped me in this healing process, accepting that I made the right decision.
Mayflower, I will be careful how I present myself to him. He continues to try to contact me with the "why's" yet he doesn't really want my answers. Ive told him that he is always welcome to talk to my priest if he ever has questions...He has opened the door to my ex.
Again, thank you all! I'm very excited to continue discussions with my new freinds on this site. God Bless!
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vixenkat_2001

Joined: 08 Jan 2010
Posts: 193

Mon Feb 08, 2010 7:47 am  Reply with quote

don't ever compromise your faith or yourself for anyone, especially a man. if he can't love and accept you for who you are and what you believe, then he wasn't the man God intended for you. I know your heart may be breaking and you are going thru a lot of emotional turmoil, but God will give you the peace and understanding. Time will heal and when God feels the time is right He will bring the perfect man for you into your life. It may be too that He wants you to witness to this gentleman and bring him to God?

Just a thought.

Dawn
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jesusfreak198989

Joined: 08 Sep 2008
Posts: 62

Mon Feb 08, 2010 9:10 pm  Reply with quote

Its hard. I understand. The world has programmed us to think that our faith should be secondary to our life.

Anyway Welcome, you'll find that some great conversations happen here. Have a great day.

Michael
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BreezyAnna




Mon Feb 08, 2010 11:39 pm  Reply with quote

Shaylee, you made the right choice and you should never comprise on that
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forgiven24

Joined: 31 Jan 2010
Posts: 8

Thu Feb 11, 2010 7:06 pm  Reply with quote

Shaylee sis,Here's for you,
Letting Go doesn't mean you stop caring and loving,You just can't do it for that spicific someone.It is not trying to blame or change a person,we can't change them, only God can.It is not to judge them,You're only allowing him to be what he want.Letting Go,Is not to regret the past but to grow and live for the future,It is to fear no more and trust in God.Lastly,It is to Freely give the kind of love HE GAVE US.You did the right thing sis.I hope this can help.

God Bless You,
Lisa(forgiven24)
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christian_chick_ak

Joined: 15 Nov 2008
Posts: 145

Wed Feb 17, 2010 8:45 pm  Reply with quote

You made the right choice. I find that since I am commited to following after God, God has put me through some tough places where I've had to choose...Him or someone else? I still struggle at times but I won't go back to how it used to be....I aim to follow Christ and your relationship with Christ is the most important.
_________________
Trust in the Lord...Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart... Commit your way to the Lord...Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him. (Psalm 37)
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ShayleeThea

Joined: 05 Feb 2010
Posts: 3

Thu Feb 18, 2010 7:29 pm  Reply with quote

honestly, thank you all...my brothers and sisters. this has been a tough time for me and he has tried several times to get back together. meanwhile, he's saying he cant beleive we'd break up over "this".
he just does not understand and wont until he's ready. i will not judge him or think i am better than him.
thankyou all for your support and love.
God bless!!! Smile
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servingGod345

Joined: 25 Apr 2009
Posts: 124

Fri Feb 19, 2010 4:33 pm  Reply with quote

Hi shaylee,

Sorry about your situation. I agree with the others on here that you did make the right choice. Don't be discouraged and remember that God does have the right guy out there for you...we don't know when it will be, but in His timing you'll know what His will is for your life.

Have faith and always look to Jesus! I will be praying for you. Just maybe He will open the opportunity to share the gospel with this young man.
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